im not a bookworm

Im just addicted with all of these... hehhee

I know i fell and i failed

I know I fell and I failed...

I know this is not right!!! I told myself not to fall for him. I rest assured myself that I won't fall.. But to my mistake I fell and I know I failed. I know he doesnt have any feelings for me. But what i wanna ask due to my curiosity is.."Was there any time during those time that we're still buddy that you miss me?or any kick of admiration? "That's it.. but hell it's so hard to tell him.. So hard to even look at him. I don't deserve him and neither do him.
How can I ease this feelings that I have for him???...I really fell from him. I thought I can hold this one.. Because I thought that it's just mind over matter but it's not. It's really not. I thought it's just a mere sex buddy but it's not.. All of those thoughts turned 180 degrees... and still accelerating, hope i can have diversion on this feelings,,,, I hope I really hope..

Lions for Lambs

just one question and Im really waiting for the bloody answer..and still have few months to wait for this bloody question./...Will there still be Lions for Lambs??? That question is intended for Pres. Barrack Hussein Obama... Is he really a global president?If so...hope that he will remove all the lions at lambs' nation...
I am indeed happy hearing that he won... he maybe the messiah for every color, it may be black brown red yellow or even white,. he may whip or hug, he may kneel or bring up the rod of righteousness if it's really needed...

Hope that he is the Santa Claus that we are waiting for.Hope that he is the Hope for every ethnicity..Let's see for ourselves...

Black Resides on the Whites

Few months ago... I wrote about the historical election, I wasn't biased that time. Now the blog that I wrote few months ago has been answered. The historical election has been made. Black now rules over the White, but not just over the Whites but also the every color of every nation he will rule!!
Now the question.. will there be still wars over every other nations?Will there still LIONS for LAMBS? What will he be doing on the greatest nation of the world? Will he be the Messiah someone who will change the whole world?
Hope that there's no more war on the other side of the earth. Hope that OBAMA will be the HOPE of of every people's ail...

Sembreyk

Weehhh I am so happy because my hardship really did paid off!! KAMPAI.... heheheh I passed on my discrete math,physics and programming yahuuu.... i really am so happy that I got all those because those are really so hard subjects so now that I got them I really want to thank GOD for giving me all the strength, for encouraging me to go to school though I am so tired and feelin' blue.. haayyyzzztt I love it I really cried when i knew that I passed. I really wanna shout for that...
My parents are so proud of me. Even my dad, he witnessed my hardships my meal skipping, my crying and my sleeping so much late during weekends... That's why with the news he got from me. I know that it's a big smile and pride that I gave to my papi...
Thank You so Much God!!!!

xoxo

Are we back?

I got confuse on what he had said to me 2 months ago. After 2 months I am also confuse of what's the real thing behind those hugs kisses grabbing of hands and laughters.
When will be the real time of asking him about what he had said?When can I have guts to ask him?When can I tell him the things that I'm starting to fell out of love with him. His sweetness during the morning kisses and the hugs during the cold winter-y temp of my room,and the laughter during our movie-thon. How can I explain that? Is he gaining back my sumptuous sweetness to him?or just what he wants. Just the same of what he have expected last time.?
For my goodness' sake help me complete this puzzle please give me the last piece so that I may know what's this all about...Im really confuse!!!

xoxo

in the air

You can already feel the cool breeze of air during night times.Lots of malls are beginning to have their 3 day,weekend,or even midnight sale. Because CHRISTMAS is in the air!!! Weehhh I love Christmas. The food that momma cooks during Christmas is awesome,the Ube halaya,hamonado,spag,salad and the 'bida ng Noche Buena' which is HAM!!hmmm so yummy. I love the spirit of giving gifts during Christmas,and the package which is papi's gift for me. Hmm I love the one week paid vacation, the relaxing week is so fine, so fine that can help us regain some strength that we've lost for the whole year.
The best of all during Christmas is...The Thanksgiving,giving thanks to God for everything that He gave to us for the whole year..

Even

Even at my worst will someone tell me that 'I am their life'? Will be there for me 'til the last tear that I've cried?Who will that be? Will they accept my imperfections?

I cry everytime I hear love songs. I sigh everytime there's a love novel-ish story. Because I sometimes dream that someday or somehow by all means I would've been on there shoes. 'IF EVER'..
I am at my worst, I am a slut. I am a whorrific. Will anyone still accept me? What if NONE? What if they get rid off me?What if they curse me? I am pretty sure they can't accept my alter-ego.
Will there be any chance for me to savour the word 'true love'? Please cupid, give me a chance to have it.. Give me someone who will be there everytime I need a lean.
What am I gonna do to have them? Kneel from the first step of Taoist temple to the last one? If ever that's the best thing to do. I will..I really wanted to know If there will be someone to accept for the real me,'


So Long,
leanne
xoxo

My so called Lust life

I started to know the world when I was 14 then I really entered it at 21 then emerged fully on 22 and be an active one at the present time (as of now im 23)..
Sometimes I feel so abused but sometimes I tend to like it. But afterwards as I stare into the mirror of myself, I see myself ravaged. Being touched, cunned, licked, and fucked by different guys. Sometimes they are just the unknown ones, sometimes they are my fubu... I don't have stable relationship what I have is a stable FUBU with a young guy. I maintained our lustful relationship for 4 months. But that is not a love-based relationship just a lustfull one.
Sometimes I told myself "what if i didn't do all these things?" "Would there be any chances for me to have a stable relationship?" "Would guys treat me as a saint?, would they not fool me"? duh lots of 'what ifs' bummed into my mind. But one thing for sure... I didn't regret it. Because Im happy doing those unlawful and unacceptable things.If they can't accept me for that if they will judge me for that I dare them "CAST THE FIRST STONE!!!" I will let them rip me off if someone of the crowd do that. If they themselves prove that they are the clean ones the perfect being aside from GOD.Then on they will have all the rights to do that.!
Will it be my mistake?If yes, then Im proud having that mistake because with that mistake I tend to know how to handle myself and how to play with destiny, fate , and LIFE!!

My lust life is a spice that colours me alive!!!

someone from damascus 4

Now he's leaving for a while and so do I. Now, I prefer to go to Sahara to be on myself to give time to my hardships and time to chill..I need to love first myself than anybody else in the world. I need to give time for myself and embrace the whole me.
I need it... To change the old me, to know the real me,..

How Painful

dear mommy,
iam in heaven now,sitting on God's lap.He loves me and cries with me.For my heart has been broken.I so wanted to be your little girl.I dont quite understand what has happened.I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.I was in a dark,yet comfortable place.I saw i had fingers and toes.I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surrondings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days,I felt a special bonding between you and me.Sometimes I heard you crying and i cried with you. sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard daddy yelling back. I was sad,and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,the most horrible thing happened. A mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place i was in. I was so scared, i began screaming, but there was no sound. I guess they had all pinned down because you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming."mommy,help me please.complete terror is all i felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought i couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off.It hurt so bad;the pain I can never explain.It didnt stop.Oh,how i begged it to stop.I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was such complete pain, i realized i was dying. I knew i would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy.Now, i couldnt; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was utter pain and horror, i felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before i was gone, but i didnt know the words you could understand. And soon I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said" He Loved me, and he was my Father.Then I was happy. I asked Him what was that killed me. He answered "Abortion" Iam sorry my child, for i know how it feels. I dont know what abortion is; i guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but i could'nt the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didnt want to die. Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, i love you and i would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love,
your baby girl

someone from damascus 3

a black cloud blanketed him with such a good vision

though with that dark covering, his

smile still the sunshine of the

damascus

i stared at him with sweet thoughts in

me studying every inch of him

he wasn't aware with my stare,

he even didn't recognize the presence

of me

'twas fine just seeing the sunshine

from his amazing smile will make my

day so right.

10 things i hate about

i hate it because i got henna-ed

i hate it because i can't eat yogurt

i hate it because i can't eat ice cream

i hate it because i can't have nai cha

i hate all those freaks who put melamine

on milks

i hate it because im getting anemic

i hate it because i haven't been to MYOH

i hate it because i don't have time to

eat properly

i hate it because he's now making me

sick

and the most thing i hate is...i can't

say "i hate you" to someone

"i hate!!!" sigh.,...

someone from damascus 2

the sun shone over his lustrous likeness

he glistened amongst everyone else in the plot

he seemed so pleasant to the crowd

and beamed to everyone as much as he can,

'twas a nice day for me seeing that guy whom i saw in damascus

i even disregard the tired soul i had just to see that someone from damascus

someday somehow or maybe, i can touch him and hold the entire visage of that guy from damascus

not just on my reverie but to my entire reality

someone from damascus 1

'twas glimpse when i saw him in damascus..

no pretentions i was so indeed have my secret sight

i was marveled by the eyes so much fascinating

i cant resist his masculine demeanor ohhh he really can shake my soft wobbling knees

the aroma of his luscious scent makes me awe every time i see him right there in damascus

amazing it is until the time i am in my sanity i see him

i thought i can only see him right there in damascus

but surprisingly yes he's in my reality

right here but never been beside me

im in his front but never he cast a glare for me

just a stare from him a beam will surely come out from my was-pouted lips

entwine is not just a dream but in reality

not just in damascus but in my sanity

you don't know me

It was 19th day of August,2007 when I first fell in love,yea it's a whirlwind romance but I can assure you that I love him.But he left me with no reason, now I tried and even forced myself to look for someone who will replace him, but hell i haven't find any until such time that I became so WHORE-IBLE yah I can say that I've been a slut, bitch, whore, or whatever you wanna say.
But now I've changed when this person arrived. He changed me, he changed the concept of sex in me. He makes my life colorful, as colorful as I wanna see it,,,,,but.....

FUCK he belongs to those people who just wanna have real extatic past time! He is one of the hell person who arise from the inner core of devil who hurt me and made me as his "disneyland".
Now he still wanna be with me, then take the consequences that I will offer you, Ive told you I want you to let go but still you want to be with me, ok I will but I'll assure you that I will mess your FUCKIN LIFE,,,,, Now It's my time..Take everything man....you really don't know me, yet. Now I wanna let you know who the real me is..

I am LEANNE!!!!!

Don't ever mess with me or else I'll mess your life totally!!!

WOW

wow It's still September 1 here on my blogsite hahaha...hmmm I just forgot that Im using the GMT time hahahah..gotta sleep back...Ill just shoot you maybe tonight at work...
xoxo

today is wut?

I just miss last night of blogging..hope that this one can still count on for yesterday's blog....

As of this morning i heard the song of Jordin Sparks the Tattoo in a capella version...my gawd it's so fine..i love the version.. That makes me wanting to buy the beatbox heheeh...

Hmmm about my life yztday?hmmm I bought a box of liqeur sakuleyt at Marks & Spencer and I love it it's so delicious... Uber....Me and beh loves it.. Want to buy another box....
My baby went here last night,,, and I am so surprised and wanna hug him that much.,, but im shy doing that of him hahaha,..hoping that he'll be with my family this coming sunday... I hope so....
truly madly deeply im in love with him...sigh.....

yesterday,,ive been so tactless.,,next time leanne please shut your mouth up!!!! that makes you so dumb,.,,,hmmmm I will.. hope that it will mend...im really hoping for that....


till here..so long

xoxo

'BEH'

Whose that?? Hmmm remember my 'Friday' entry in here? I've written there that I'll be telling things about my school life... Well ok I know this one is not a part of my school, but he's part of my schooling..got it? me, too im a bit confuse,, here it goes.... He's 'June' the used to be good day breaker he really makes my day so miserable.. he's the one who makes the whole aisle so ewwwiieee... I really do hate him so much.. as in Big Time.... but when the magical arrow of cupid hit me, he really did it..it's really in the bull's eye! He made it to the center.. Now I realize that the saying "the more you hate the more you love" really did exist!I honestly tell you this one,,,, I really really love him so much, I've never been like this before. But everytime I see him my then miserable day will now be turn into magical day... I always miss him and I always wanna hug him....

I LOVE HIM MY BABY....

SOLSTICE

Hello there,,Im back,, I just don't know if this one is for good hahaah...anyways I just wanna make a new start all over again.. It's Septmeber 1,2008 1:13 am Philippine time.
Every September 1 mama narrates her Labor day it's literally her labor day for me, and for God's sake she labored for 7 days as in 1 whole week, OMG as in OMG with the much emphasized OMG.... It's really so much of suffering, imagine people who labored for 2-3 hours give damn to their husbands how much more the 7 straight days? So that's why I don't make my mom get mad with me,,, because I really think of those sufferings that she got because of me. So those 7 days were enough to make her suffer coz of me. I think birthdays should be celebrated by the son/daughter and the mother. it's because their moms are the one to be thanked on your Birthdays because first and foremost they suffered for 9 months then after that suffer again for how many hours and after that suffer again for guiding their kids as they grow up. So now I wanna make my birthday so much special, because I have the 2 most loved persons in the whole wide world.. My mom and dad. I won't ask anything as a gift because, seeing us as complete family is too much enough for me. I know I have everything in life to be asked for , so I won't ask anything more.I just wanna thank God Almighty for giving everything for me.
thank God for everything you've been so good to me for the past 22 years,, hoping that I can also have another 22 more years and many more 22 years to come... Lord God sorry for what i've done bad... Please forgive me... I love you so much,,, may my birthday will be in all good condition....


XOXO

NOSTALGIA

It was a year ago when I woke up
I woke up and I cried
Somebody love"d" me
He gave the sunshine in me
He opened the window of my eyes
He promised to love me till the end!
The fuck!! He left me all alone
The Hi's and Hellos are gone
The somebody whom I know vanished!
My heart waited for him until now
My little heart is having a hard time to move on
He was such a great impact
My mind almost explode of waiting
But even the scent of him didn't appear
Do I still have to wait or move on?
A part of me says "yes"
People around me says "life must go on"
But what's really inside of me is..
Im still waiting...
I still love him!

first day

it's my first day of school..gosh so nice and so tiring,got to wake up so early because i have my work then after that i have to go to school, and my school now is better than ever. People out there are cool, and also there's no Citom (government deployed people to catch those jaywalkers hahaa) I was never their victim but I know that it will happen haah..so glad my school now doesnt have those people haaahha..still waiting for some cool happenings hmmm????

100th

This is my 100th post here..so what am I gonna post? This must be interesting as interesting as the 1st one. Uh it's so dif'cult, have new ones...But try to think of great idea.

It's Saturday mornin' weeehhhh no work and not a school days either. So what am I gonna do now?Hmmm... I dunno well Im thinking of something,I just wanna jot in here my life.Before taking my bath.here it goes.

I am Ma. Leanne Genelynn Garcia Cruz..wheeeww what a long name.You just don't know how hard for me to write this one in my sheet when I was still young, especially when my teacher is having a brief exams..hahhahh Leslie, my friend witnessed that. Go back to my ish, my dad gave me that name my mom even told me that he listed names in a two yellowpad sheets, take note it's back to back hahhhaa..He's more excited than my mom in giving names hehee. Then mom told me that one night my dad dreamt of my lolo saying that my lolo wanted that his name will be put on my name. That's why i got Genelynn, from Eugene. Then my lola even wished her name will be put on my name too, so my mama's boy daddy followed my lola so I have Leanne from Leandra, well Leanne also is her american name there in Calif not bad right I love my name so much hhehe..Another one is Maria, my dad's side is so religious so expect saints' names on our names hahahaha.. But you haven't asked my nickname, its L.A. yah as in 2 letter nickname, imagine that long name only have a 2 letter nickname?hahhaha That's the initials of my mom and dad.Maybe they pitied me on having a very long name.
Im 22 years old, ill be turning 23 this coming September 7. Wow Jordan's jersey huh. I'm kinda proud of myself. Why should I? It's because some ladies as of now can't reach 22 or 23 without getting pregnant. I am just so glad that my O.B. taught me how,lol, though I had so many sexcapades, uh uh..Spilled beans huh. Well nobody is reading this blog so I can spill it out. That's just one thing that make me proud of myself,but I know there are lots in me that I can be proud off. I dun have time on putting it here. hmmm ok I'll put some, how about being mother earth's advocate?I used the net to be mother earth's advocate, because I know we're having this global warming due to what the human beings have done here on our earth. I am proud of it. I am proud of what have I done.
Im on my "ty" age but still I haven't graduated yet. lol or should I say I never graduated yet. yah as in never worn a toga after my nursery graduation. Why is that so? On my suppose to be grade six I wasn't able to do so. I hopped and go directly to first year, then again I also hopped 3rd and 4th year and go directly to college hahaa what the ef.. I even got a job that is suited for the graduates hahahha.... That's why I really love my being me. The courage that I've got and the guts that's in me. it's in the genes heheh I got it from my dad. coz my mom is some kinda slothy hahahaha peace mom.
Talking 'bout friends. I dun have lots. I only have one true friend and we've been friends for almost 13 years weeeeehhh we're making a history weeeeehh..I love her so much we're like sisters as in we know what's on our minds though we aren't talking. You just dun know how me and my bez had the same dream. See that's just one proof of being us. As friends we also had this misunderstandings.But still we're done with it. It's definitely so hard to find good and true friend. I even had this "suppose" friend but it didn't last even a year because I realize that she doesn't need me anymore a fair weather friend indeed. I was so hurt because I even disregard my bez because of her. Well one thing I wanna thank her. SHE BRINGS OUT THE BITCH IN ME..Well it's ok now I know that no one can ever break our 13 year friendship with me and my bez . A great wine is a decade fermented one.
This one is indeed a long blog. well Im counting again for the next 200 post. How I love posting blogs.

so long,
leanne

Im Yours

Been haunted with that song for over 10 months.. Gracious me, Im playing that one over and over again..Goodness I even memorize the panting of jason Mraz hahahha..What a very lovely song. The collaboration of acoustic and reggae is so great. Jason Mraz is indeed a talented one. Try to listen once and I bet, you will listen to it over and over..

got it

hmm just miss my blogs so much... anyways just wanna tell u that we'll be having an outing this weekend hmmm beach time..kick off summer party....love this moment...see yah soon

Daddy Long Legs

My first blog for this month literally first because of the time it's 12:07 here as of blogspot time..I just finished watching daddy Long Legs the movie, I didn't regret of spending my time watching it. The story line was so great and it's a non-dry eyes movie, you will surely love how the story runs..
I just realize that love is just around you, you don't have to look farther they are just there looking at you guiding at you. You might not know that the one you bumped on the stairway or even on the mall is that the guy for you. He maybe a complete stranger but knowing that person deeply would let you realize that he's the one for you.
Wish upon a star and wouldn't really happen for now, but then you would realize that one day your wish is right on your doorstep sweeping off your feet...
Love will just come just open your eyes and you will see that one for you.Never give up for the other half won't also give up.

Just got back

I just got back wheeeewww it's been a long time since i haven't fingered this one...(ohh dun think any bad things dude.. finger another term of typing ok??) Well I was out for a while due to some thing not so good happened to me. But now I think that the wheel is on the way back to the top. That's life sometimes not good but you have to accept it. So just be happy and call GOD always..(though I'm not a church addict) haaha you don't need to go to church or do novenas just to prove that you believe in God right?? The simplest thing is just tell Him how much you love him..
Love to be back...

One Tree Hill

just done watching OTH..seasons 1-4..that's a great series been waching that for 2 months hey (staggered watching) i can't watch that in one sitting, it's a 4 season series...so glad before classes im done with it... but still i will continue the season 5.. great story dude..love it

Banana

well i had this "idiotness" a while ago.story goes like this.i am always wondering why mama dun like to put banana on our fridge.so i tried to put my bought-banana on our fridge here to my surprise it gets rot and rot...my goodness the fleshy thing inside can't really survive on cold temp. now i know why mama dun put that on fridge hahaha....so tropical fruits must not be put on fridge...lessons learned..

Realize

I asked the Dj of BT 105.9 Monster radio...Of whom the male version of Realize was...HE answered he's not male he's a gay by the way..he is John Nathaniel sigh he's such a good looking person, but they said he's a gay. If ever i will be given a chance to have sex with him hmmm surely I will, hahahha NO DOUBT....saving my performance to David Cook and John Nathaniel hahahahaa...Dream on....

My Girl

cute nman ng My GIRL by Kim Chiu.. I remember much of my childhood days.... yung pinapasakay ako ni papa sa mga stallion sa San Lazaro hhaha...yun kasi ang pinag kaka abalahan ni papa ko nung andito pa sya sa pinas eh ahhaha.. kaya nga though funny eh naiiyak ako hahhaha . syempre naalala ko si papa eh..yah tigidig tigidig haha,,,,kaya pala mahilig ako mangabayo haha sinanay na bata pa hahaha

estuyante blues

they asked if i stil have plans to graduate pa ba??? hahaa may plano po kasi ako mag field trip sa lahat ng schools dito sa Cebu hahhaa... at nag babalak ako mag MAGNA---- MAG NNINE YEARS OR SUMA--- SUMASAMPUNG TAON hahhahahahaha.. FYI.. a student cannot be a called a "tru blu" estudyante if they haven't tried even one of these things: INC

DROP SUBJECTS

RED MARK

SHIFT

TRANSFER

STOP SCHOOLING

DIDN'T PASS THEIR P.E.

CWTS FILIPINO

CHEATING

HINDE BINAYAD TUITION FEE

WORKING STUD

SUMMER SCHOOL because of failed grades

DINAYA ANG PARENTS DINAGDAGAN ANG "SAID" PROJECTS&FEES

CUTTING CLASS

NAG TETEXT DURING CLASSES

FRIDAY SICKNESS

SLEEP DURING CLASSES

IRREGULARITIES

and the most famous tumataginting na

BAGSAK.... hahahaha... check nyo pag isa dun eh wala kau eh... isa kayong walang kwenta na stdyante.. hinde nyo na feel ang sarap ng buhay bilang isang estudyante..how I love being a student haahhaha..

painful life

hirap ng life ko. ang dami kong gustong gawin pero damn di ko magawa.. I can't jog, kasi baka mag hyperventilate ako.di din naman ako pede mag gym or aero kasi daw yung sa heart ko and body ko di daw kaya.Swimming sana kaso hell, baka naman ma singhot ko ang tubig at lumala ang sinus ko. I can't eat ng mga foods na gusto ko kasi may allergy ako. I can't go to the beach kahit na gano ko pa man sya like na pumunta I can't kasi mainit baka daw yung mata ko and yung sa asthma and sinus ko nga daw. at eto pa. I can't have coffee kasi daw baka lalo lumala insomnia ko. ano ba pede kong gawin????hinde ko din kaya mag karoon ng maayos na tulog. hell 2 hours straight masaya na ako.. wala na ata ako pedeng gawin eh. AND IM REFRAINING MYSELF TO LOVE...COZ LOVING WILL JUST LEAD ME TO LIES AND PAIN!

Mayo Uno

It's May 1. Labor day here on Philippines. Just expect that you will encounter lots of rallies in every corner of the street. Well that's their own little way of speaking their minds. i don't think it's effective, because the president herself isn't listening.She just make "dedma" to all those stuff. Sigh, how sad. People voted for her, and now she even don't lend any ear for us. So disappointing.
Well Im still waiting for a great story to tell hehe..

I posted this one yesterday on my friendster and my YM avatar. My goodness I got lots of violent reaction! They said lots of surprising comments on this one. I told them this was taken 2 years ago. Ok I admit it I am still a li'l girl I mean a demure one who doesn't know what real world is! I am still the cleanest person that I've ever known hahahaa.. (lifting my own bench huh hahaa that's being narcissistic lol) Well I really love this pic. I just remember how good I was hahaa.. unlike now, I am known to be an alcoholic and everything..People really do change. hahha.. But still I know myself this is still me, I just evolved. Ok????

Back Again???!!!!!

As Blue Jays fly with its partner; and so as the ship can't dock without its anchor;And so as Leanne can't be happy without Beatot.
She's my right foot and hope I'm her left foot. She carried me through those days when I thought she left me. I even think I'm walking alone with my journey, coz I haven't seen her but instead we flew like the blue jays. She carried my incompetent wings with her sturdy, mighty wings. The wind tried to push me astray, but still her wings carried me through. I haven't seen her during those days, when I think I'm alone. I just didn't look up to realize that she's on my top carrying me not to get out of the path. I am so sorry for what have I done wrong with my other part. I am so sorry, I didn't realize how much you really cared for me. I misconstrue what you have done with me, instead of saying thank you I replied with a grim. You don't deserve to carry a stray fowl like me. I will accept all blames and hatred that you wanna scream at me. I deserve those things from you. I deserve to be neglected by you. I will catch every stone that you wanna throw unto me. I accept all my flaws I am really so sorry.

It is really hard to say sorry but hope that with this one can help me wash my stained cloth.


(It was an awful month for us. Our ship docked on different pier. I admit that I was miserable, and gloomy without my friend. )

Still waiting

I am still waiting on what great topic to write?? Hmm I can't think of any nice stories as of now... Ill try in a couple of minutes maybe I can see something cute.. heheh
have a great day!!!!

Fire

I heard the sirens rushing to and fro, the smoke inside the building made my mind troubled. This is reality this is the real life. Fire can really destroy everything. We need to stop it as early as we can. Playing fire is not easy to handle you need to be very careful not to get burned. But it's so hard to be careful if the fire is too big not enough to handle anymore.

Some time in my life I've been so playful with fire. I played it as if I'm still a kid playing a house pen. But hell, it's not the same thing. Playing fire during kids' time and now that you're old is not totally the same! It really destroys you yourself and evryone else.

Im so glad I stopped it. This will be the first and the last playing of fire. By next I will make sure that I'll do it with someone I can call my lover. I am so happy that we,my friend, decided to stay as a good friend, and really stop that crappy game that we did. It's a lessons learned. Life is really a very complicated thing to handle. You need to stumble first for you to know how painful it is. Im glad our burns is not that serious, and it didn't cause any problems. We're still on our early stage. I really thank both of us. For thinking rational things for ourselves.

“the game is over bury it as if nothing happened between us”

“at least once in our life we played the fire, and I'm glad we never failed, I never regret that!”

It's over it's really over! Thanks... FIRE is officially OUT!!!

Game

Im playing a very hard game. A very complicated sport that ever invented by our own mere instinct, fantasy and imagination.It 's a game that everyone wanna try. It's so sinful and very dangerous to try it on.Im sometimes guilty and sometimes not. There's a part of me that wanna say no to it, and some part of me says yes, do it. I am torn I am just so weak to resist the temptation. Sometimes I even think that it's just a mind-set. If you think you're doing bad then it won't turn out good. So just think positively, besides no one forced me to do that.It's me, myself decided to do it. No one should be blame off!! If anything happens then there's a reason behind that thing.

Just wanna tell to all those who wanna try it. Just try it if your mind is on-set. If you still have doubts then simply stop it. I know that it's not that easy to say no but Im sure you can. Let's just admit that we are weak, but you can do the mind-over-matter principle. Say no if you aren't yet ready. And if you are on your way, make sure you are super safe to do that. Remember life is not that easy to handle...

Boozed

'Twas because of booze. I really can't understand what had happen to me last night. Gosh I did so shameful scene within my buds. Im so fuckin' wasted last night. But hey I'm not drunk ok. I'm just wasted. I just throw what have I eaten ahahah so grossy! Im not really into cheap hard drinks. Sorry guys but it's true. Cheap drinks aren't mixed well. Unlike those imported drinks. Those are so smooth.

Anyways.... This things happened last night while Im so fuckin' wasted and sleeping I heard my buds chatting. Hey, my mind is still with them. Im not really drunk as what have I told you. Well Im still as active as they are maybe Im more active than they are in terms of mental reaction.Hmmmm when suddenly Im so fucked up! Yah that's true. I was so horny hahahahah.. Damn I can't hold myself. Weeehhhh well my friend was also horny. So we did what our body wanted to do. We follow the rhythm of our body. I can't say that it's wrong because we're both involve on it. I mean if you think that it's bad then it will really turn into bad. But we simply play it. And nothing wrong of it. We really love it. Super!!! He's so great! I love how we connive. Hahaha we're so much compatible with it. Hahahhaah..

Do we still have to do it again? With my “friend'? We're not in realtionship. He's committed with someone and I'm dating his brother hahaahhaa.. We're both evil. Hmmm I dunno what we're doing. Hahhhaa as long as we do those things because we want it. I think it's a guilt-free deed. Hahahah..

'til here. See you next...

So long,

leanne

Boozed it

I won't drink cheap hard drinks anymore.Or should I say I must stop drinking! I should minimize my alcohol drive.From now on Ill try to do that. I will refrain from drinking alcohol..
Well last night I was so wasted! ewwwww It was so grossy I hate it. I was so fuckin' messy I threw up! yah as in I puke and puke ulgkjkk... Im just wasted ok, but Im not drunk. I know myself much. But the fact is.. Im not use of "tagay" because for me if I do that the alcohol will surely contaminate my system. So that was what happened last night. I was so messy as in.. I am so stupidly messy. My very first time to puke!
Anyways... to give you some hint I wasn't just messy Im also hmmmm horny hahahhaa.. well goodness It was a nice night for me and my "Friend. hahahaa.For us we're not doing any bad things ok! We're just swaying the music of our body. Follow what your body tells you. And just be safe safe safe! and love what you are doing. It's a guilt-free thing.
so much for this..see you tom..

so long,
leanne

wasted

yesterday I think I will still be on my solo flight drinking session.. ButI was wrong there came my buds hahaha.. We were all wasted hahhaa.. we all throw up.so grossy but still we were so satisfied. why? because our goal is..to get drunk hahah... but i didnt get drunk im just wasted. but I know im not drunk! ahaha.. all the rest of what had happen will be just a history hahah... secrets..

Crossover

It's already Friday weehh Thank God It's Friday. How I love this day! hmnm why? It's the end of a very stressful week weeehhh...
By the way just this evening as I was about to come here in the office I was so fascinated with the scene. I had a nice music background from a live band hmm that was from the bar just next to our street. It seems that I'm performing a music video hehee..Well i really love that scene though it's just too simple. I just love the rushing of cars, the busy people and the music. It's so real and so scenic.How I wish I have a camera so that I can presserve the moment with me. I really have to save bucks for my SLR.
Well what am I gonna do tomorrow?? I have to ask again ehhehe..Drink and drink and drink.. sleep and sleep and sleep.... watch and watch and watch?? haaaaayyyy I've been doing that over and over again... Am I not fed up with that?? hahahha I shouldn't have too!!! hahaa
See you again soon..

so long ,
leanne

bored

Im so bored! No youtube,no friendster,no crunchyroll even imeem can't play here on my PC. WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh This is so hard!! I dun know what to do with this boring life. so hard to do things na walang ginagawa.. I hate being idle. I really don't like it.That's why this one gets me freak out....I hate thissssss.... give me job please...

White Houses

A story of a girl named June...

A girl whose so desperate of looking for a perfect man for her. Unfortunately, she can't! When she was still 13 she was raped, been molested by an unknown guy from nowhere. 'Till then she become so numb with her feelings. She's doing sex for nothing. She had sex with a guy whose younger than her, a guy whom she really didn't know a complete stranger, her cousin, an older guy and so many more.
She had sex for nothing, she wanna get even with men. She wanna do that thru sex. Not knowing that she just mislead her life. She needs someone who will love her truly.

to be continued...

Is America ready for "Black" or "Lady" president?

"I Uncle Sam do solemnly swear; that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend constitution of the United States, so help me God!"

Those are the words that every presidential candidates are wanting to utter. This batch of 2008 is a very controversial batch.It can create a history that will really put a mark on every Uncle Sam's heart and mind. This batch might produce first lady president or first Black president. Who could it be? Who will bring the bacon? The woman, or the black? Is it Hillary? The former first lady. Is it Barrack the Black? What would the kids say if ever Hillary will win? Hill is back again in the White. How about Obama? Wow a Black resides on the White.
People all over the world are so fascinated with this tight fight of Hillary and Barrack. Americans are also hook up with these two candidates. Will Hillary prove that women is stronger than men? Can she be like, or more than Thatcher?
Black is greatly discriminated in USA. But by this time can Black conquer the votes of white people? This one is still a hanging question. A wait and must see event. His winning is every Blacks' pride.
Who would be the last person standing? Who would live in White House? Is it the former first lady and might be the first lady-turned president or the first historical Black American who will rule over the White?
Seven months to go. There can we get the most awaiting result. Who would be the next ruler of the greatest country in the world?! Let the world witness it on November 4, 2008.

Im Sick

Im so sick... my head is aching my nasal cavities my throat and everything.. Im so f*@%ing sick.I don't wanna stand and work. but I can't help it but to work.So painful wahhhhh help me....

so long,
leanne

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday papa.. I miss you so much..I still remember those happy moments when Im still with you. I was so excited to all those happy moments that we shared during li'l balasang era. I will surely always carry those happy moments papa. I will always be your li'l balasang. No one can ever replace you in my heart.

yo there

wazzup y'all.. well I almost hit it.. ohh should I say I already hit it?? But still I have to check how deep the water is. Hmmmm kinda poetic huh. Well I still have to wait for ev'thin' never get in rush. I still have lots of pending cases.. cases huh? heheheheh so see you again soon....
Gotta go...

So long,
leanne

Thief!

You're a thief! Why are those deymn thief are so selfish?? They possess everything that it's not originally theirs.. Well to tell you frankly you thief, don't have the right to do that! Because those that you have aren't yours! Remember that! You just sneak in and get everything that I have! Now, you are so selfish to share those that it must be mine! How bastard you are! Well, the hell is waiting for you, selfish! What is mine is mine remember that! Im not threatening you, Im just telling you! JERK!