wedding bells are ringing

I read this mag Metro Weddings of abs-cbn magazine yesterday (03/30/09) as I was having my hair being rebonded. Bianca Araneta was the cover of that ish. The cover itself made me jump into that mag,(not to mention that I am a mag junkie). In the mag I found lots of gowns and idea on how to prepare a wedding. I was so interested on the topic to the extent that I'm not minding what the attendants were doing on my hair. I read about the reception, singer, gown , theme, send-off party, give aways, cakes, rings and many more.. Upon reading the mag I stop for a while and made me think deeply 'what would my wedding be?'. So I think deeply and day dreamed while they iron my hair hehehe,.,,, so here they are:

Let's go on a theme first, I love the idea of being wed in a not-your-usual-wedding, so an idea popped in my mind and it's the tent wedding. It's like a party the same thing in Rockwell Tent, So the theme is glamorous night party.

for the motif, I'm not certain yet on the motif it's still in the pending case.

then the reception the reception and the wedding is just on the same place, well I'll leave it to my wedding planner.(lol)

Singer, who would be my singer? years ago I really told myself it would be Juris of MYMP singing 'For All of My Life'. I really love her version of that song the message really do penetrate deep inside my soul.

Send off party- where will it be held?? hmmmm i think and i know it is much better to celebrate it on a spa.. am I right?? So that it would sooth our senses.That would be great idea right?

give aways-incense within a scented oil.. or a potpourri,, that one is better than a figurine right?

ring..one time while watching TV i got an idea about how to choose a wedding ring. It was said that it must be the man whom will find the ring, because the pinky of a man will be the size of the ring finger of the woman whom he is destined for.So before you say yes to your bf make sure that his pinky is the size of your ring finger so that you will be sure that he's the one...

cake: I want it to be a 5 tier mocha fondantcake with fruitcake on the top. As what tradition said, that it must be fruitcake on the top so that the couple can keep it and eat it on its first year annive. The color would be, white adorned with real copper rose with drapes and made by penk Ching. That would be nice right?

Gown. I don't know my dream dreass, I don't know yet what would I like, maybe if I found my man that would also be my time to find my dream dress, as of now I still have to wait for it..But I know my color it would be misty rose... but the design is still under construction...

xoxo

What I need right now??

We've just finished our thesis with my friend named Adam. We were so happy that we're already done with it. Well now I wanna know what I need to soothe my tired soul, mind, body and emotion.

top 10...
10. Taoist temple.. I wanna go to Taoist temple that is my sanctuary everytime I have this stressful life

09Pack up.. be adventurous and see other nice place

08.Food..hmm a very yummy food because I really miss it. huhuh crispy pata,liempo, hmmmm

07.Be alone..as of now I wanna be alone and get away from this busy streets and noisy people

06. Have a break.. a 2 day nice break from everything else

05. Movie..a good movie will do I think the Nights in Rodanthe so that I can sleep well hhaha

04.Eat Gelatto..hmmm that's an awesome idea huh

03. Buy book and read it... I want to buy the Marley and Me book so that I can divert my boring and stressful life in it.

ohh we're now on top top 2 ...and for the top 2 is...

02. SLEEP..a good night sleep is the best!!!!

and the winner is....tantanannannnnn drum roll pls....boomboom boom boom


01. SEX... I wanna have a good great SEX partner... I've never had sex for 3 straight months... It's so difficult huh.. Does any of my friends' list will be free?? 4 straight rounds of ozzing sex heheh,,,lurrvvee it...

java-ed

java the yummy and soothing drink....hmmm the aroma of the great bitter sweet coffee will really ignite your senses. But how come that this computer language named after java one of the most famous coffee concoction been refrained off...???
It's really well not to say the hardest (I think) but one of the most complicated one. That will really make your brain bleed.. not just bleed dude.... hemorrhage is the term. It can cause lots of hair fall and make your eyes bloat like a bubble fish!!! Am I saying so much bad against this computer language? I' m just telling you what have I experienced...
till here.....


xoxo

Antithesis

Can I name myself an antithesis? Same with my greatest disposition being an anti-social. Well I just don't like them ehhehe,,, I just don't like how they act, I can live my own. I can be what I am without them.. Am I sounding too rude? or too anti social?? Well equally the same.
I just hate them. They hate me and so DO I!!!!



xoxo

Ano ang kwento mo

May kwento ako..
Ano nakikita mo pag gabi , hinde multo o engkanto kundi mga taong iba't ibang pangarap at kulay ng buhay. Andyan ang mga mag kasintahan na masayang nag lalakad pauwi, mga mag aaral na naka uniporme pa lalo na ang mga narsing , andyan ang mga construction worker na nag papahinga sa tabi ng kalsada at nag kakatuwaan. May mga batang lansangan na nasa isang gilid at nakahiga kumot nya'y kanyang braso na syang tangi nyang panlaban sa ginaw at sakit ng higaan. Andyan din ang mga namamasukan sa call center na papasok pa lang ay nag hihikab na, May mga kainan na 24 oras na bukas na syang pinupuno ng mga banyaga, mag-aaral na nag rereview at mga taga call center. Nabanggit ko na ba ang mga bar na kahit na anong sabihin ng pamahalaang gloria na tayo ay nakaka danas ng crisis puntahan mo ang mga bar gabi-gabi at lalo na sa Biyernes Sabado at Linggo doo'y makikita mo na punong puno ng tao ang naturang establishimento.Ano ang napapansin mo sa gabi?

Ano ang kwento mo??

pag binalot ng buwan ang mundong ibabaw

Pag ang buwan na ang bumalot sa mundong ibabaw takbo ng buhay ay naiiba, dyan nagsisislabasan mga pangarap na makikita sa lansangan, mga ilaw na nag gagalawan mga kabataang nag lalaro sa gitna ng kalsada na tila ang kalsada ay isang palaruan. Pag binalot na ng buwang ang mundong ibabaw duo'y makikita mga dinaramdam , mga pangarap na hinde natuloy at nauwe hinde lang sa pagkabigo kundi sa pagka galit sa mundo. Iba't ibang tao iba't ibang mithiin ang nakikita sa pag balot ng buwan sa mundong ibabaw. Pag ang buwan ang bumalot sa mundong ibabaw, doon makikita ang payapa na daloy ng liwanag ng buwan na syang nag bibigay pag asa sa mga taong bigo sa buhay man o pag-ibig sa mga taong nawalan na ng destinasyon kung san patutungo sa mga taong inakap na ng dilim ang kinabukasan. Sa pag balot ng buwan sa mundong ibabaw atin syang akapin at salubungin pasalamatan sa pag bigay ilaw sa mga gabing tayo ay nasa dilim sa mga gabing nag iisa tayo at nangangapa ng liwanag. Atin syang tanggapin ang liwanag na syang pangako ng Poong Maykapal sa pag bibiyaya sa atin ng liwanag sa dilim

Internet or Books???

Rampant internet cafes, mushrooming bookstores, e-books, newly released edition of books, which do you prefer?
There are lots of people right now wether or not a student prefer to use internet cafe in research, reading books and article. But still if you are going to check the bookstore it's always 'fully occupied'. If you're going to ask which one is better? The good ol' days of school or the modern day research?
In internet we can easily get what we want and print it right away. You can even copy the whole page with just a snap of a finger 'presto' you already have your research. But how about the effort of reading the book? Come to think of it if you have already read the first few paragraph then you will just copy it without reading the whole article and no more intrernalizing of what the whole article is all about, unlike with the books you have all the effort to read it, and internalize it but the thing there is, it's so tiring to write all those stuff, you might get lots of erratum in writing the whole article, (well photo copy might be the answer over hand writing )and sometimes you might get an outdated book which will give you less informative article.
Librarians and book worms really do insist to still use books as a good source of research and be involve in reading rather than using internet,because doing the research polish our mind and body coordination, it doesn't practice the immobilization.
Internet savvy's side said that with the use of internet it makes our life faster and have a lesser burden of work.
Now' YOU CHOOSE' it's up to you as a user , on which one makes you comfortable the one that makes your reasearch faster or the one that still practice the good 'ol days.

Top 10

I didn't make a survey or ask questions , I am just a keen observer or should I say I simply scrutinize people around. Especially at school(here in STI-Lahug).
What's on your top ten most viewed website? (either wi-fi or at the library)

Top 10 most viewed website:

10: canbrowse.com
Yahuuuu..The best web cracker in STI. Could I crack it guys?Hope Ms. Librarian won't read this one or else....
09. wikipedia.com
At least STI-ers still have the time to open it(just by googling)
08. manga.com or any manga site
Sti-ers's past time especially the male ones.
07.meebo.com
But it's already blocked. Sorry for all chat addicts like me lucky for those who have notebooks.
06. Multiply.com
For multiple uploaded pictures go to multiply.Narcissistic attack wooohhh....
05. Facebook.com
If you wanna be posh and 'in' go to facebook.com. most models and celeb here and abroad use that one and that's their legit.
04. myspace.com
For music inclined people go to myspace coz there are lots of band web page on that site.
03. youtube.com
For lots of music video,movie and many more well all walks of searches.

We're now down to no.2 Can we take a pause for a while?........

okay here it is.

02. yahoo.com
Because it is the homepage of every computer lol just kidding. Searches, opening emails and searches again and homepage.

and the winner is.... drum roll please......

01.friendster.com
Everybody loves friendster and everybody has an account on friendster 2 or more. The account number 1 is for personal use and the other one is for sideline thingy.(I didn't say anything guys..)

In Their Eyes

I saw these kids every night as I go to the office. This is their playground, dining room or worst their bedroom. They found their comfort zone on this area. Their innocent hands learned to soak-in to the dirt of the 'real world'. Instead of playing in the real playground, instead of eating warm soup and nutritious food in a place called house, in this place they eat crumbs,remnants, spoiled, already thrown foods, instead of sleeping with warm blanket and feel the security of their own family well they don't know the feeling of being treated fairly. They grow-up having hunger pang, malnourished body, tired, and dreamless. They grow-up without holding a pen and paper, for not knowing how to read and write, they grow-up without feeling of being accepted by the people around and the most painful is the feeling of being in an 'untouchable caste' with their own family .
I as a student would feel so much guilt, for I only give my sympathy and can't do something worthwhile for them, I feel so much guilt because I am being supported by my parents to go to school while they aren't. I am so much guilty because I can read write and speak with sense while them they aren't. I feel so much pain, why they haven't have any chance of being at school. Why these kids are being thrown-up by their own parents, why these kids are being unfairly treated by their fate.
Can you still remember the most popular saying of our national hero?

'Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.' Now let us rephrase this 'Ang kabataan pa ba ang pag asa ng bayan?'

If that is the case, what would happen to our country if we're not fair to these kids? One of these may dream of being a doctor, one of these may dream of being a great politician one of these kids may be a great scientist,but the question is how? How can they fulfill their dreams? Let us not end their dreams. Let us not pop their bubble of dream but instead, we the educated ones and the government must help these kids. we must preserve them educate them, comfort them. Let us not change the saying of Rizal. Let us fulfill what he had said.

spinning round make it twirl

So many faces,

so many races

Different voices,

different choices

Some are mad,

while others laugh

Some live alone with no better half

Others grieve

while others curse

And others mourn behind a big black hearse

Some are pure

and some half-bred

Some are sober

and some are wasted

Some are rich

because of fate

and Some are poor with no food on their plate

Some stand out

while others blend

Some are fat and stout

while some are thin

Some are friends

and some are foes

Some have some

while some have most

Every color

and every hue

Is represented by me and you

Take a slide in the slope

Take a look in the kaleidoscope

Spinnin' round,

make it twirl

In this kaleidoscope world

Some are great

and some are few

Others lie

while some tell the truth

Some say poems

and some do sing

Others sing through their guitar strings

Some know it all

while some act dumb

Let the bassline strum to the bang of the drum

Some can swim

while some will sink

And some will find their minds and think

Others walk

while others run

You can't talk peace and have a gun

Some are hurt and start to cry

Don't ask me how don't ask me why

Some are friends and some are foes

Some have some while some have most

Every color and every hue

Is represented by me and you

Take a slide in the slope

Take a look in the kaleidoscope

Spinnin' round, make it twirl

In this kaleidoscope world

what if my vagina would talk?

I watched vagina monologue last saturday. Well it' s such a nice play. I really can relate on the story on the situations. There's a question there...'what if my vagina would talk what would it say?'

1. Am I trained to be a gymnast?
2. I can't bear it anymore..1 round is enough!
3. So big and hard make it slow.
4. I'm totally pissed off!(unsatisfied!)
5. Lubricate me first, are you insane(for penis)!!!???

xoxo

to be continued...

lurrvvee day...

a month ago i still remember that i wrote something grateful thing against valentine's day ... heheheh well I was just carried away with my desperate situation. i even dare valentine that if ever no one will ask me out or no gift will arrive then i will curse the feb 14 all my life. hmmm well valentine was so good to me. gift arrived and my ex asked me out. so no more 'the grief' the counter part of the grinch hehehe,,, I was just satisfied of what had happen to my lurrvvvee day,,, one thing that make me the happiest is IM SAFE!!!!!(safe from pregnancy)
that's all ehehhehe be back if i have good stories to tell...


xoxo

sexless in the city

got haunted with the title..i think 'tis a great book to read........ i have my own story of that..it's a real sexless...

people who really knew me will get surprise about my situation right now... Why? because Im a real SEXLESS in the city. valentine's day came but nothing happened.... December was my last event and no more thing happened after that one.haayyyzztttt..well ill still be thankful for that though,
till here..ohh i still have story after this.... just wait ill shoot you in a minute...

xoxo

i love this line

"Before you,my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. .... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliance, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no reason for anything."
ohhh,,,, that quote can really sweep off my feet...ohhh who can tell me those lines...who can utter to me that quote?? if someone will whisper that quote unto my ear, I will definitely melt on my place.
i really love this quote...SUPERB!!!!

xoxo

tired

Im so tired being tested,studied like a specimen in a petri dish. I don't like it anymore as if I have a choice to say no. I really don't have any choice. But as of now I want to do all great things in me. before my borrowed time ends.
Im like a ticking bomb having a very limited time every tick is so important I must consume it carefully. Im like a withering candle melting but shedding light to each and every one. I won't regret all these happenings in my life, it may be fate, or destined. I know that God gave this to me for He knows that I am capable to handle this courageously.
I may be a specimen in a petri dish, I may be studied under the lights, I may be opened through scalpel, I won't mind at all for as long as I know that God is there, my mom , dad, aunties, sibs, and friends are there. Then I won't mind at all. For they are the ones who encouraged me to live and to fight....


xoxo

K at 1

K-KNOWLEDGE
U-UNDERSTANDING
L-LOYALTY
K-KEEN PASSION
O-OBSERVANT
G-GRATITUDE
Z-ZEAL

We are knowledgeable on our own little way with great understanding to each and every one, and been loyal to one another with keen passion on our craft and been observant on what we have/ are / will be doing, and ultimate gratitude to our gracious Creator, and zeal to stay being a kulkogz!!!

chillax dude...

Year 1

Now we're turning 1..wooohhhh kudos to every member of kulkogz..yahuuuuu.. Lots of things happened in the past, it might be bad, good or dull still we're there for each other. Others may copy us but still we're the most bankable group yahuu.... Chill... we're the coolest one. We don't think that it's a competetion or what, we're not playing games here.What we're after is our friendship, friendship that will last forever.. What are we gonna on our annive?? hmmm think think think....
ill just inform you further after the complete decision have been done...

xoxo

THE GRIEF!!!

Can I make a monster named "The Grief" that monster would just go out during Valentine's day!!! Yah I have all the guts to say that it's a monster though it's me... I don't care at all. If there's "The Grinch" for Christmas then The Grief is for Valentine's day!!!
I'm so devastated of my situation right now. I don't have date or the worst no one ask me to go out this coming Valentine's day! Should I cry or should I really cry?What else can I do but to totally cry... Well do I have to wait for the remaining days?? or give up while it's still early?? I'm like a ticking bomb waiting for my time to explode...

for here

xoxo

tsug... tsug... tsug ..tsug.. tsug...

How does the beat of your heart sounds like?? What's the aura color of your heart? Is it Red, pink?yellow or BLUE?? Is it healthy tsugging or not?? Well healthy in the terms of you have someone by your side... Someone who will equally celebrate the up coming VALENTINE's day.. hmmm Well as for me??ZERO... I don't have any...It's just still the same for 23 long years nothing changed.Why can't Valentine worked it on me? If that Valentine is existing then prove it to me!! Well if it's still 13 and no one ever bother me to celebrate it by 14 then goodluck I will never ever celebrate it. NEVER!! If I have then WHY NOT?? wahahahah,,,I will surely promote the celebration of its event. ok?? This will be a pact!!!

xoxo

Conundrum

an intricate or difficult problem... Let's see it this way....

A very young couple of late teens and early twenties got so involved on the so-called game named SEX... They savour every moment they "do" it. The sweat; the heat; the aroma of each other's body make those senses bring them to euphoria. The every sway, pump and hop of "doing" is their everyday routine without RESTRICTIONS!!! They tasted SEX as if it's a sweet indescribable gratifying taste like honey. (well sort off...sort off honey as in honey in the KNIFE!!!)
Their every step to euphoria, their every sway to the rhythm of their "doing" comes to reality when they fell off from heavens to earth and earth to heavens!!!
At a very surprising hour on their euphoric, once surprised them with a very shaking news the game started to 'propagate'. The euphoric mode is over!!! Their game now turned their lives 360 degress even clockwise and counter clockwise,,,their hearts beat twice or thrice faster than the usual. It seems that they are now in the middle of a maze wherein they don't know how to get out. They can't figure how to solve the maze. What's on their mind right now??CHEATING!!! They want to get rid off it,..They don't want to pursue the propagation of their SEX.... They want to.... yes ABORT it!! HOW PAINFUL IT IS!!! Imagine a helpless cute little angel inside the womb made by magic/game/euphoria will be killed by its own PARENTS!!!! How awful it is to hear those IRRESPONSIBLE IMMATURE SELFISH LITTLE BRAIN DAMAGED IDIOTS' reasons on why they are doing such BLOODY CRAP!!! They don't have the right to kill that angel inside. I'm not saying that I'm the cleanest person ever but it is not right not just by Constitution but the also God's law!! It is morally wrong. If I can beg them to stop it Ill do all my best to do so. I really want to save the kid. For they are so lucky more than lucky enough to have it. Me myself am not so sure if I can have it wheras themselves they are more than lucky and bound or suppose to be happy to have that kid inside. After that crap idea where fo you think will they be?? Will the gates of heavens above will still be open for them?? I think yeah.. open for them to hear how they have done it. And the fiery hell is waiting for them.

Now what's the verdict?How will you handle those crappy people not to do such bad idea?? This is such a conundrum one!

Twilight Saga

It's another Buffy the vampire slayer, Moonlight, interview with the vampire and so many mortals and vampire love affair. Late 2008 and early 2009 been the Twilight era. It's a 4 book series written by Stephenie Meyer starred by Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen. A mortal named Bella been in love to a vampire vice versa. For all the Cullens know that Bella is the destined prey of Edward, but it tilts 360 degrees for Edward fell in love with Bella. A forbidden and dangerous love affair for both of them. But still they fight for it, through thick and thin....


to be continued.....

New Moon

Eclipse

Breaking Dawn

Midnight Sun

2009

WEEHHH..so glad im still alive heheh.,,,, i just cant imagine im here in year 2009... What if this blogsite is still up on 2050?and next gen pipz can read this??well to those pipz of that year this blog is my so called time capsule that stores my most private , funny, gloomy, and anger stories of my life. I never ever exposed this site for I know people will know the most kept secret of mine.
Let the secret be kept on this site. May this be read by the year 2050 and beyond..neither now..

im not a bookworm

Im just addicted with all of these... hehhee

I know i fell and i failed

I know I fell and I failed...

I know this is not right!!! I told myself not to fall for him. I rest assured myself that I won't fall.. But to my mistake I fell and I know I failed. I know he doesnt have any feelings for me. But what i wanna ask due to my curiosity is.."Was there any time during those time that we're still buddy that you miss me?or any kick of admiration? "That's it.. but hell it's so hard to tell him.. So hard to even look at him. I don't deserve him and neither do him.
How can I ease this feelings that I have for him???...I really fell from him. I thought I can hold this one.. Because I thought that it's just mind over matter but it's not. It's really not. I thought it's just a mere sex buddy but it's not.. All of those thoughts turned 180 degrees... and still accelerating, hope i can have diversion on this feelings,,,, I hope I really hope..

Lions for Lambs

just one question and Im really waiting for the bloody answer..and still have few months to wait for this bloody question./...Will there still be Lions for Lambs??? That question is intended for Pres. Barrack Hussein Obama... Is he really a global president?If so...hope that he will remove all the lions at lambs' nation...
I am indeed happy hearing that he won... he maybe the messiah for every color, it may be black brown red yellow or even white,. he may whip or hug, he may kneel or bring up the rod of righteousness if it's really needed...

Hope that he is the Santa Claus that we are waiting for.Hope that he is the Hope for every ethnicity..Let's see for ourselves...

Black Resides on the Whites

Few months ago... I wrote about the historical election, I wasn't biased that time. Now the blog that I wrote few months ago has been answered. The historical election has been made. Black now rules over the White, but not just over the Whites but also the every color of every nation he will rule!!
Now the question.. will there be still wars over every other nations?Will there still LIONS for LAMBS? What will he be doing on the greatest nation of the world? Will he be the Messiah someone who will change the whole world?
Hope that there's no more war on the other side of the earth. Hope that OBAMA will be the HOPE of of every people's ail...

Sembreyk

Weehhh I am so happy because my hardship really did paid off!! KAMPAI.... heheheh I passed on my discrete math,physics and programming yahuuu.... i really am so happy that I got all those because those are really so hard subjects so now that I got them I really want to thank GOD for giving me all the strength, for encouraging me to go to school though I am so tired and feelin' blue.. haayyyzzztt I love it I really cried when i knew that I passed. I really wanna shout for that...
My parents are so proud of me. Even my dad, he witnessed my hardships my meal skipping, my crying and my sleeping so much late during weekends... That's why with the news he got from me. I know that it's a big smile and pride that I gave to my papi...
Thank You so Much God!!!!

xoxo

Are we back?

I got confuse on what he had said to me 2 months ago. After 2 months I am also confuse of what's the real thing behind those hugs kisses grabbing of hands and laughters.
When will be the real time of asking him about what he had said?When can I have guts to ask him?When can I tell him the things that I'm starting to fell out of love with him. His sweetness during the morning kisses and the hugs during the cold winter-y temp of my room,and the laughter during our movie-thon. How can I explain that? Is he gaining back my sumptuous sweetness to him?or just what he wants. Just the same of what he have expected last time.?
For my goodness' sake help me complete this puzzle please give me the last piece so that I may know what's this all about...Im really confuse!!!

xoxo

in the air

You can already feel the cool breeze of air during night times.Lots of malls are beginning to have their 3 day,weekend,or even midnight sale. Because CHRISTMAS is in the air!!! Weehhh I love Christmas. The food that momma cooks during Christmas is awesome,the Ube halaya,hamonado,spag,salad and the 'bida ng Noche Buena' which is HAM!!hmmm so yummy. I love the spirit of giving gifts during Christmas,and the package which is papi's gift for me. Hmm I love the one week paid vacation, the relaxing week is so fine, so fine that can help us regain some strength that we've lost for the whole year.
The best of all during Christmas is...The Thanksgiving,giving thanks to God for everything that He gave to us for the whole year..

Even

Even at my worst will someone tell me that 'I am their life'? Will be there for me 'til the last tear that I've cried?Who will that be? Will they accept my imperfections?

I cry everytime I hear love songs. I sigh everytime there's a love novel-ish story. Because I sometimes dream that someday or somehow by all means I would've been on there shoes. 'IF EVER'..
I am at my worst, I am a slut. I am a whorrific. Will anyone still accept me? What if NONE? What if they get rid off me?What if they curse me? I am pretty sure they can't accept my alter-ego.
Will there be any chance for me to savour the word 'true love'? Please cupid, give me a chance to have it.. Give me someone who will be there everytime I need a lean.
What am I gonna do to have them? Kneel from the first step of Taoist temple to the last one? If ever that's the best thing to do. I will..I really wanted to know If there will be someone to accept for the real me,'


So Long,
leanne
xoxo

My so called Lust life

I started to know the world when I was 14 then I really entered it at 21 then emerged fully on 22 and be an active one at the present time (as of now im 23)..
Sometimes I feel so abused but sometimes I tend to like it. But afterwards as I stare into the mirror of myself, I see myself ravaged. Being touched, cunned, licked, and fucked by different guys. Sometimes they are just the unknown ones, sometimes they are my fubu... I don't have stable relationship what I have is a stable FUBU with a young guy. I maintained our lustful relationship for 4 months. But that is not a love-based relationship just a lustfull one.
Sometimes I told myself "what if i didn't do all these things?" "Would there be any chances for me to have a stable relationship?" "Would guys treat me as a saint?, would they not fool me"? duh lots of 'what ifs' bummed into my mind. But one thing for sure... I didn't regret it. Because Im happy doing those unlawful and unacceptable things.If they can't accept me for that if they will judge me for that I dare them "CAST THE FIRST STONE!!!" I will let them rip me off if someone of the crowd do that. If they themselves prove that they are the clean ones the perfect being aside from GOD.Then on they will have all the rights to do that.!
Will it be my mistake?If yes, then Im proud having that mistake because with that mistake I tend to know how to handle myself and how to play with destiny, fate , and LIFE!!

My lust life is a spice that colours me alive!!!

someone from damascus 4

Now he's leaving for a while and so do I. Now, I prefer to go to Sahara to be on myself to give time to my hardships and time to chill..I need to love first myself than anybody else in the world. I need to give time for myself and embrace the whole me.
I need it... To change the old me, to know the real me,..

How Painful

dear mommy,
iam in heaven now,sitting on God's lap.He loves me and cries with me.For my heart has been broken.I so wanted to be your little girl.I dont quite understand what has happened.I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.I was in a dark,yet comfortable place.I saw i had fingers and toes.I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surrondings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days,I felt a special bonding between you and me.Sometimes I heard you crying and i cried with you. sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard daddy yelling back. I was sad,and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,the most horrible thing happened. A mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place i was in. I was so scared, i began screaming, but there was no sound. I guess they had all pinned down because you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming."mommy,help me please.complete terror is all i felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought i couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off.It hurt so bad;the pain I can never explain.It didnt stop.Oh,how i begged it to stop.I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was such complete pain, i realized i was dying. I knew i would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy.Now, i couldnt; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was utter pain and horror, i felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before i was gone, but i didnt know the words you could understand. And soon I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said" He Loved me, and he was my Father.Then I was happy. I asked Him what was that killed me. He answered "Abortion" Iam sorry my child, for i know how it feels. I dont know what abortion is; i guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but i could'nt the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didnt want to die. Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, i love you and i would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love,
your baby girl

someone from damascus 3

a black cloud blanketed him with such a good vision

though with that dark covering, his

smile still the sunshine of the

damascus

i stared at him with sweet thoughts in

me studying every inch of him

he wasn't aware with my stare,

he even didn't recognize the presence

of me

'twas fine just seeing the sunshine

from his amazing smile will make my

day so right.

10 things i hate about

i hate it because i got henna-ed

i hate it because i can't eat yogurt

i hate it because i can't eat ice cream

i hate it because i can't have nai cha

i hate all those freaks who put melamine

on milks

i hate it because im getting anemic

i hate it because i haven't been to MYOH

i hate it because i don't have time to

eat properly

i hate it because he's now making me

sick

and the most thing i hate is...i can't

say "i hate you" to someone

"i hate!!!" sigh.,...

someone from damascus 2

the sun shone over his lustrous likeness

he glistened amongst everyone else in the plot

he seemed so pleasant to the crowd

and beamed to everyone as much as he can,

'twas a nice day for me seeing that guy whom i saw in damascus

i even disregard the tired soul i had just to see that someone from damascus

someday somehow or maybe, i can touch him and hold the entire visage of that guy from damascus

not just on my reverie but to my entire reality

someone from damascus 1

'twas glimpse when i saw him in damascus..

no pretentions i was so indeed have my secret sight

i was marveled by the eyes so much fascinating

i cant resist his masculine demeanor ohhh he really can shake my soft wobbling knees

the aroma of his luscious scent makes me awe every time i see him right there in damascus

amazing it is until the time i am in my sanity i see him

i thought i can only see him right there in damascus

but surprisingly yes he's in my reality

right here but never been beside me

im in his front but never he cast a glare for me

just a stare from him a beam will surely come out from my was-pouted lips

entwine is not just a dream but in reality

not just in damascus but in my sanity

you don't know me

It was 19th day of August,2007 when I first fell in love,yea it's a whirlwind romance but I can assure you that I love him.But he left me with no reason, now I tried and even forced myself to look for someone who will replace him, but hell i haven't find any until such time that I became so WHORE-IBLE yah I can say that I've been a slut, bitch, whore, or whatever you wanna say.
But now I've changed when this person arrived. He changed me, he changed the concept of sex in me. He makes my life colorful, as colorful as I wanna see it,,,,,but.....

FUCK he belongs to those people who just wanna have real extatic past time! He is one of the hell person who arise from the inner core of devil who hurt me and made me as his "disneyland".
Now he still wanna be with me, then take the consequences that I will offer you, Ive told you I want you to let go but still you want to be with me, ok I will but I'll assure you that I will mess your FUCKIN LIFE,,,,, Now It's my time..Take everything man....you really don't know me, yet. Now I wanna let you know who the real me is..

I am LEANNE!!!!!

Don't ever mess with me or else I'll mess your life totally!!!

WOW

wow It's still September 1 here on my blogsite hahaha...hmmm I just forgot that Im using the GMT time hahahah..gotta sleep back...Ill just shoot you maybe tonight at work...
xoxo

today is wut?

I just miss last night of blogging..hope that this one can still count on for yesterday's blog....

As of this morning i heard the song of Jordin Sparks the Tattoo in a capella version...my gawd it's so fine..i love the version.. That makes me wanting to buy the beatbox heheeh...

Hmmm about my life yztday?hmmm I bought a box of liqeur sakuleyt at Marks & Spencer and I love it it's so delicious... Uber....Me and beh loves it.. Want to buy another box....
My baby went here last night,,, and I am so surprised and wanna hug him that much.,, but im shy doing that of him hahaha,..hoping that he'll be with my family this coming sunday... I hope so....
truly madly deeply im in love with him...sigh.....

yesterday,,ive been so tactless.,,next time leanne please shut your mouth up!!!! that makes you so dumb,.,,,hmmmm I will.. hope that it will mend...im really hoping for that....


till here..so long

xoxo

'BEH'

Whose that?? Hmmm remember my 'Friday' entry in here? I've written there that I'll be telling things about my school life... Well ok I know this one is not a part of my school, but he's part of my schooling..got it? me, too im a bit confuse,, here it goes.... He's 'June' the used to be good day breaker he really makes my day so miserable.. he's the one who makes the whole aisle so ewwwiieee... I really do hate him so much.. as in Big Time.... but when the magical arrow of cupid hit me, he really did it..it's really in the bull's eye! He made it to the center.. Now I realize that the saying "the more you hate the more you love" really did exist!I honestly tell you this one,,,, I really really love him so much, I've never been like this before. But everytime I see him my then miserable day will now be turn into magical day... I always miss him and I always wanna hug him....

I LOVE HIM MY BABY....

SOLSTICE

Hello there,,Im back,, I just don't know if this one is for good hahaah...anyways I just wanna make a new start all over again.. It's Septmeber 1,2008 1:13 am Philippine time.
Every September 1 mama narrates her Labor day it's literally her labor day for me, and for God's sake she labored for 7 days as in 1 whole week, OMG as in OMG with the much emphasized OMG.... It's really so much of suffering, imagine people who labored for 2-3 hours give damn to their husbands how much more the 7 straight days? So that's why I don't make my mom get mad with me,,, because I really think of those sufferings that she got because of me. So those 7 days were enough to make her suffer coz of me. I think birthdays should be celebrated by the son/daughter and the mother. it's because their moms are the one to be thanked on your Birthdays because first and foremost they suffered for 9 months then after that suffer again for how many hours and after that suffer again for guiding their kids as they grow up. So now I wanna make my birthday so much special, because I have the 2 most loved persons in the whole wide world.. My mom and dad. I won't ask anything as a gift because, seeing us as complete family is too much enough for me. I know I have everything in life to be asked for , so I won't ask anything more.I just wanna thank God Almighty for giving everything for me.
thank God for everything you've been so good to me for the past 22 years,, hoping that I can also have another 22 more years and many more 22 years to come... Lord God sorry for what i've done bad... Please forgive me... I love you so much,,, may my birthday will be in all good condition....


XOXO

NOSTALGIA

It was a year ago when I woke up
I woke up and I cried
Somebody love"d" me
He gave the sunshine in me
He opened the window of my eyes
He promised to love me till the end!
The fuck!! He left me all alone
The Hi's and Hellos are gone
The somebody whom I know vanished!
My heart waited for him until now
My little heart is having a hard time to move on
He was such a great impact
My mind almost explode of waiting
But even the scent of him didn't appear
Do I still have to wait or move on?
A part of me says "yes"
People around me says "life must go on"
But what's really inside of me is..
Im still waiting...
I still love him!

first day

it's my first day of school..gosh so nice and so tiring,got to wake up so early because i have my work then after that i have to go to school, and my school now is better than ever. People out there are cool, and also there's no Citom (government deployed people to catch those jaywalkers hahaa) I was never their victim but I know that it will happen haah..so glad my school now doesnt have those people haaahha..still waiting for some cool happenings hmmm????

100th

This is my 100th post here..so what am I gonna post? This must be interesting as interesting as the 1st one. Uh it's so dif'cult, have new ones...But try to think of great idea.

It's Saturday mornin' weeehhhh no work and not a school days either. So what am I gonna do now?Hmmm... I dunno well Im thinking of something,I just wanna jot in here my life.Before taking my bath.here it goes.

I am Ma. Leanne Genelynn Garcia Cruz..wheeeww what a long name.You just don't know how hard for me to write this one in my sheet when I was still young, especially when my teacher is having a brief exams..hahhahh Leslie, my friend witnessed that. Go back to my ish, my dad gave me that name my mom even told me that he listed names in a two yellowpad sheets, take note it's back to back hahhhaa..He's more excited than my mom in giving names hehee. Then mom told me that one night my dad dreamt of my lolo saying that my lolo wanted that his name will be put on my name. That's why i got Genelynn, from Eugene. Then my lola even wished her name will be put on my name too, so my mama's boy daddy followed my lola so I have Leanne from Leandra, well Leanne also is her american name there in Calif not bad right I love my name so much hhehe..Another one is Maria, my dad's side is so religious so expect saints' names on our names hahahaha.. But you haven't asked my nickname, its L.A. yah as in 2 letter nickname, imagine that long name only have a 2 letter nickname?hahhaha That's the initials of my mom and dad.Maybe they pitied me on having a very long name.
Im 22 years old, ill be turning 23 this coming September 7. Wow Jordan's jersey huh. I'm kinda proud of myself. Why should I? It's because some ladies as of now can't reach 22 or 23 without getting pregnant. I am just so glad that my O.B. taught me how,lol, though I had so many sexcapades, uh uh..Spilled beans huh. Well nobody is reading this blog so I can spill it out. That's just one thing that make me proud of myself,but I know there are lots in me that I can be proud off. I dun have time on putting it here. hmmm ok I'll put some, how about being mother earth's advocate?I used the net to be mother earth's advocate, because I know we're having this global warming due to what the human beings have done here on our earth. I am proud of it. I am proud of what have I done.
Im on my "ty" age but still I haven't graduated yet. lol or should I say I never graduated yet. yah as in never worn a toga after my nursery graduation. Why is that so? On my suppose to be grade six I wasn't able to do so. I hopped and go directly to first year, then again I also hopped 3rd and 4th year and go directly to college hahaa what the ef.. I even got a job that is suited for the graduates hahahha.... That's why I really love my being me. The courage that I've got and the guts that's in me. it's in the genes heheh I got it from my dad. coz my mom is some kinda slothy hahahaha peace mom.
Talking 'bout friends. I dun have lots. I only have one true friend and we've been friends for almost 13 years weeeeehhh we're making a history weeeeehh..I love her so much we're like sisters as in we know what's on our minds though we aren't talking. You just dun know how me and my bez had the same dream. See that's just one proof of being us. As friends we also had this misunderstandings.But still we're done with it. It's definitely so hard to find good and true friend. I even had this "suppose" friend but it didn't last even a year because I realize that she doesn't need me anymore a fair weather friend indeed. I was so hurt because I even disregard my bez because of her. Well one thing I wanna thank her. SHE BRINGS OUT THE BITCH IN ME..Well it's ok now I know that no one can ever break our 13 year friendship with me and my bez . A great wine is a decade fermented one.
This one is indeed a long blog. well Im counting again for the next 200 post. How I love posting blogs.

so long,
leanne

Im Yours

Been haunted with that song for over 10 months.. Gracious me, Im playing that one over and over again..Goodness I even memorize the panting of jason Mraz hahahha..What a very lovely song. The collaboration of acoustic and reggae is so great. Jason Mraz is indeed a talented one. Try to listen once and I bet, you will listen to it over and over..

got it

hmm just miss my blogs so much... anyways just wanna tell u that we'll be having an outing this weekend hmmm beach time..kick off summer party....love this moment...see yah soon

Daddy Long Legs

My first blog for this month literally first because of the time it's 12:07 here as of blogspot time..I just finished watching daddy Long Legs the movie, I didn't regret of spending my time watching it. The story line was so great and it's a non-dry eyes movie, you will surely love how the story runs..
I just realize that love is just around you, you don't have to look farther they are just there looking at you guiding at you. You might not know that the one you bumped on the stairway or even on the mall is that the guy for you. He maybe a complete stranger but knowing that person deeply would let you realize that he's the one for you.
Wish upon a star and wouldn't really happen for now, but then you would realize that one day your wish is right on your doorstep sweeping off your feet...
Love will just come just open your eyes and you will see that one for you.Never give up for the other half won't also give up.

Just got back

I just got back wheeeewww it's been a long time since i haven't fingered this one...(ohh dun think any bad things dude.. finger another term of typing ok??) Well I was out for a while due to some thing not so good happened to me. But now I think that the wheel is on the way back to the top. That's life sometimes not good but you have to accept it. So just be happy and call GOD always..(though I'm not a church addict) haaha you don't need to go to church or do novenas just to prove that you believe in God right?? The simplest thing is just tell Him how much you love him..
Love to be back...

One Tree Hill

just done watching OTH..seasons 1-4..that's a great series been waching that for 2 months hey (staggered watching) i can't watch that in one sitting, it's a 4 season series...so glad before classes im done with it... but still i will continue the season 5.. great story dude..love it